Being sexy

There is always an awkward stage during a girl's life - period of transition from girl to woman.



Guys go through voice changes and start displaying their superior hairy-genes and probably think that superb-positively of the changes we girls go through. While they are all for it, little do they realize it is a tough journey for us.



While not all girls go through this, I dare say a lot of us find it hard embracing the changes to our bodies. The extreme would be to hate while the general would just be to feel embarassed.



Before this, we would have no difference (at least in a general physical sense) to boys. I could wear shorts, climb trees, paint mud on my face, bully the neighbour's rabbits and bully other boys to tears - as good as the other boys.



After that, it was not that I could no longer do all these but things were different. My peers of the opposite sex could not view me as the same anymore. I could not view myself as the same anymore. The young minds, thus, began to confuse.



'Funny' little boys did or could do little to hide their immense curiosity. Hence the classic high school jokes and symbols for all things 'the birds and the bees'. Or in St. Mike's case, 'the watermelons and the hills'.



But in truth, girls have their own curiosities as well - just better presented and hidden I guess. Not only with boys (emotional sense, not so much physical, at least for me), but with ourselves. With all the teases, jokes, distractions, information offered by our peers with regards to our physical changes - it is pretty hard to not feel stressed about it yeah?



Anyway, in an attempt to not generalize this to account for all girls, let me put things from my perspective.



I was ultra-embarassed as soon as physical and biological changes emerged. The funny thing is, my abdominal fat problem emerged at the same time, so maybe some of the fat got deposited into the wrong region and hence is destined to remain there forever *tears*



I was always trying to hide these physical changes of mine and to be one of the guys - my closest cousin was a guy and my sister was a guy. So, I would hunch my back, wear only the grandma-est and smallest bras, wear only pants to hide my hips and loose clothes to not show my waist. I would also be appaled by beauty products from skincare to cosmetic - just to show that I am not different and send my Mum blasting through the roof in anger and voice escallation.



When it comes to biological changes, it was like Voldemort - the one who shouldn't be named. I never treated it as something important - but something fussy, troublesome, annoying and better-disappear? Oh yes.



So you see - I did not accept a single bit of these womanly features, what more embrace?



All because? I was too embarassed and inconfident to see the beauty of it.



Let me ask you one thing here, now that we are grown up and handling our period is like watching Korean drama, do you really not see the beauty of our womanly features?



It is time to change the embarassment to embrace.



After going to KL, mixing with women other than my mum who value beauty, reading women and fashion magazines and being able to like the image I see from my own mirror, I'd say - I have come a pretty long way.



Instead of hunching my back, I stand up straight (not that there is much difference in terms of,..you know but!!) while wearing low-cut too *wink* (again, not that there is much difference. . sigh). I enjoy, if not, lurrve buying lingerie - silk, lace, satin, pink, gold, push-up, floral. I just started enjoying, if not, lurrve-ing bikini - blue,white, Roxy, discounted, winter, summer.

I love the curviness of a female body. The softness and slight-roundness of our features - the waist, the face, the shoulders, the etc - just like a delicate peach. I think you get the picture yeah?

Sexiness is always attributed to celebrities with a thousand movies and models airbrushed for a million covers. The truth is, once one embraces her own body and builds confidence - he/she is sexy. This is because sexiness comes from within and is not only sensed visually or projected physically.

Let me share with you my Sexy-List among friends:

Eyes: Preeti, Tau, Vincent, SiewChin
Cheekbones: Donna
Nose: My YiMa, Morna, Melissa
Lips: Lowena (I know, I feel like puking as well), SiewChin
Hair: SiauMan, Glyniss, Steve
Smile: Alya, Jean Tu
Body: Glyniss, Alya
Facial features: Donna, ShinYi (the melancholic feel), Jane (the stare), Juliana (the stare)
Legs: Chloe, Donna, KaeXin
Back: Steve
Walk: Amy (in high heels)
Attitude: JingWen.

Woah, the list is actually quite long.

The conclusion of this story is:

There is something sexy even about me!
(Yeah, this was the whole point of the story haha)