Sunday, August 20, 2006

Crossroads/ Wavering

Sometimes no matter how hard we think, we avoid, we forget, we try, decisions are never easy to make. Constantly worrying over what might become of our decision, we are weak creatures after all. Too afraid to fall, too afraid to fail. But then isn't life like this? You fall, hold back your tears and get up again.

What if, you try crying after you fall? Try releasing what is inside of you. I will always be there to listen to you.

There used to be this person in my mind, some kind of role model to me, who I wanted so much to be. Someone smart, intelligent, elegant, brave, successful, popular and so on. I spent half of my secondary years trying to be like 'her'. Always thinking of what to do, being so concious of my actions and criticizing the then 'me'. I thought it was for my own good. To make me a better person. But then it was so tough and painful to me, to endure all the pressure I mounted on myself, that I was further away from not only this 'role model' I wanted to be, but also from my ownself, my friends and my family.

Luckily, I met some nice people, got tired of all the constraints I placed upon myself and came to realize what a fool I had been. Gradually I began loosening up, value my own opinions, act according to my beliefs, be more true to myself and expressed my own feelings more. Surprisingly, my lie changed. I made a bunch of very nice friends, who now means more to me than ever before. My ties with my family became stronger and I love the way it is all smiles and laughter between us now. I gained more confidence and found myself loving my ownself more. Life was a lot more happier. Because, I finally became 'me' and not someone else.

It is very important be yourself, I guess. Have the courage to live as yourself and not to be influenced by the so-called standards set by the society, etc. It is important to have principles and rules in life, I believe. But make them your own principles and rules, and not something set to you. Only then will you be able to open up and feel more from this world.

I can truly say that life has been really great for me now. Never been so happy before and I am so thankful for everything. Now, I just hope things will stay the same! And for this, I shall work hard for it.

Everyone of you, should work hard too! Towards becoming true to yourself, towards finding happiness, and towards freedom from all constraints. IT is not easy, I hope I can achieve all this, one day.

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