Wednesday, November 18, 2009


What is there to pack for Tokyo?

It is rainy and cold over there.

I am going to bring my new leather jacket! At least that is confirmed.

Leggings and tights in black, the easiest to be mixed and matched with tops of any colour and style.

Sneakers or boots? That is the question. But definitely no slippers, no no.

Accessories? A case of travelling too heavily or less fashioably?

Argh the pain of packing.

Please let me be in Tokyo already with a nicely packed bag.

Welcome signs from Tokyo

In less than 36 hours' time I will be on a plane to Tokyo.
I am so excited that. . .
My body's heating up!
My head is a bit dizzy!
My nose is blocked!
My stomach is painful!
My period might be coming!
Woot. What fun.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Empty again

My brother just left for Brisbane today :-(

And this song describes totally how I feel right now.


I'm living in an apartment

Never have before

And it feels a bit strange living up here on the seventh floor

In the city where I come from

We always lived in a house

But now I've got people over me

Under meI'm living with my lover

We've only got two rooms

And I'm working at a day job while I decide what I really want to do

I remember back in high school

Everyone was the same

But now I've got people over me

Under me

Climb, climb, climb up the stairs

Everybody up the emergency exit

Everybody wants the view from way up there

I'm living for the present

I'm living day to day

And I don't have a trust fund

Don't feel the need to superannuate

And when I'm feeling down, down, down

I end up in your arms

And your love washes over me

Under me

Lover please don't get over me

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A bit nostalgic. . .

This makes me feel a wee bit nostalgic.

Not sadness, not happiness.

Just a bit of emptiness.

As I reminisce over the tears and laughter, achievements and mistakes, friends and soulmates, realisations and confusions I went through as a high-schooler.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Visitor from Brissy

Two days with cousin from Brisbane.

17 mosquito bites and counting.

Sunburnt 50% and counting.

5 sugar laden soft drinks and counting.

7 more days of fun and counting :-(

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The small karaoke room

If there is one thing I can never say no to, it will have to be karaoke.

I love singing. The dim room. The loud music. The back-up choir friends.
Singing is one of the best forms of release, be it anger, frustration, sadness, happiness or joy. While others release themselves by going on roller coaster rides, I prefer to sing (I bit my lips so hard till it bled the last time I was on a pirate ship as I just couldn't scream).

Singing allows me to really immerse myself into the lyrics and express whatever I feel through the music. Don't think that I am being exaggerative here, or maybe I am an exaggerative personality? The point is I escape when I sing.

After a few songs, usually I will be floored by my emotions and begin imagining myself being in this picture where I was standing alone on a big stage in a big stadium with no audience. The same ol' picture all the time.

I have a loud voice! But I can never bring myself to really scream or throw my voice out without a care of the world. I tend to hold back and not hit the max point.

I really admire people who can live their lives carefree instead of being bound by all the man-made societal or corporate rules. Those who can shout "I Love You" to that special someone without thinking twice. Those who bounce off into the ocean on an unexpectedly hot Melbourne day. Those who stand up for a friend without hesitation.

Whenever I see Teru singing onstage, I really wish I could be like him. To sing with all his heart without holding back his voice or antics, letting music and feelings control his body. I really wish I can live a moment like that.

And that moment for me, is in the humble Karaoke room.
Sure I am not as carefree, adventurous or courageous as I would like to be. It is not a big stage but a small karaoke room I am singing in.
But I am happy.
There is so much that I want to accomplish and so much that I wish I could do right now. Just like how I struggle to break through to my max point in the karaoke room, I am trying everyday to accomplish whatever I set out to do.
Being in the small dark karaoke room and Glay songs never fail to remind me that.

Life can be as sweet as cupcakes if you want it to be.

Monday, November 2, 2009

A Chinese movie on a warm night

I can feel summer here in Melby already.
Time to roll out the shorts, minis, tank tops and. . . . gym-membership for the bikini moment! (Panic time all over again!).
Last night, it was really warm. I was just wearing shorts with a sleeveless top. I went out to a movie with some friends. Point is: it was a Chinese movie! Acted by Loius Koo and Lau Ching Wan, it was a comedy called Poker King.
I am usually not fond of movies from Hong Kong, after disappointments such as Ghost in the Office where green ghostly skeletal faces appear in computers as. . . screensavers. If you cannot scare me, chances are you cannot scare anyone.
But I am a sucker for comedies like Le Brassiere (Chut Sei Hou Bra) etc with Louis Koo and Lau Ching Wan. I am also missing Cheung Ka Fai awwww.
But the happiest thing about the movie last night was:-
The warm temperature
The Cantonese-speaking movie
The group of friends
It really made it seem like I was back in Malaysia, if not, back in Sandakan where I would go to the cinema (there is only one cinema~) with the gang from high school and wrap up the night with supper at one of the pasars (there are a lot of pasars~). Even if it was Norbit we were watching!

The Break Ups

Whenever you feel like you have waste - time, youth, effort, tears - in a failed relationship, please don't. Sure you can feel sad or even angry over it but never see it as a waste for no matter how bad or painful it was, you will have learnt something out of it and had moments of happiness you never experienced before.

To begin with, don't see a bad relationship as meaning he/she was a bad partner. The fact that you fell in love with this person and took the plunge to start a relationship must mean there is something which attracted you - something you love, something you wanted. But relationship is a funny thing filled with complicated dynamics of human interaction, high level communication skills and personality matches. Couple it up with time and changes in people and environment, you have a whole lot there to think about!

No matter how badly it ended or loud the final scream-match was, there must have been happy times. For why would you have gotten with him/her if not for happiness? The beautiful thing is, the form of happiness in each relationship is different. So, with every failed relationship, you get to know a different kind of happiness.

You take away things from a relationship. It becomes part of your personality.

In my previous relationship, I found:

The game I love in Final Fantasy.
The music I love in Glay.
The confidence I need in myself.
The courage I need in being adventurous.

All these make up part of who I am today. Surely you remember little things like this as well.

Most importantly, the memories. Happy memories from fresh break-ups are more heartbreaking than the unhappy memories. Happy memories from break-ups-you-have-moved-on-from are more nostalgic, they make you heave a sigh with a smile. The unhappy ones? They are more often than not, more forgotten than you expect it to be.

I don't think anyone should ever try forgetting a relationship just because it ended badly or the pain it caused. There is always something there worth remembering.

At least, it made me reminisce and realise how far I have come.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Chicks ad ducklings

Have you ever touched a baby chick before?

The first time I did that was at the A Famosa Petting Zoo a good few years away. They were so tiny, fitted into my palm. Snuggly and warm. Fragile.

It is funny how some people are afraid of small fragile things when they are not of dangerous things.

Like my Grandma who faced off with a cobra and is afraid of chicks.

Like my Dad the toughie who fought in high school and was afraid of holding me and my Sis as when we were babies.

Like my late Grandpa who lived a life of gambling and smoking, and built small delicate houses from coconut shells.

I guess it is because we realise life is really precious and fragile most at its begining.

We fail to remember this most of the time in our life.
We fail to appreciate this very apparent fact.

There is so much we should treasure and smile about right now.
For we are alive and there is so much to look forward to.