Monday, November 2, 2009

The Break Ups

Whenever you feel like you have waste - time, youth, effort, tears - in a failed relationship, please don't. Sure you can feel sad or even angry over it but never see it as a waste for no matter how bad or painful it was, you will have learnt something out of it and had moments of happiness you never experienced before.

To begin with, don't see a bad relationship as meaning he/she was a bad partner. The fact that you fell in love with this person and took the plunge to start a relationship must mean there is something which attracted you - something you love, something you wanted. But relationship is a funny thing filled with complicated dynamics of human interaction, high level communication skills and personality matches. Couple it up with time and changes in people and environment, you have a whole lot there to think about!

No matter how badly it ended or loud the final scream-match was, there must have been happy times. For why would you have gotten with him/her if not for happiness? The beautiful thing is, the form of happiness in each relationship is different. So, with every failed relationship, you get to know a different kind of happiness.

You take away things from a relationship. It becomes part of your personality.

In my previous relationship, I found:

The game I love in Final Fantasy.
The music I love in Glay.
The confidence I need in myself.
The courage I need in being adventurous.

All these make up part of who I am today. Surely you remember little things like this as well.

Most importantly, the memories. Happy memories from fresh break-ups are more heartbreaking than the unhappy memories. Happy memories from break-ups-you-have-moved-on-from are more nostalgic, they make you heave a sigh with a smile. The unhappy ones? They are more often than not, more forgotten than you expect it to be.

I don't think anyone should ever try forgetting a relationship just because it ended badly or the pain it caused. There is always something there worth remembering.

At least, it made me reminisce and realise how far I have come.

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