Saturday, September 23, 2006

End of a Hectic Week

Last week was a very hectic one. So hectic that all my assignments and activities had to slotted in between all in order to complete them all! It was a tiring experience for sure, but nevertheless a rewarding and satisfying one.

So what did I do last week? Obviously the highlight was MUMSU Ball 2006. It was a real stressful week for us committee seriously, making sure everything went rite, arranging things our of a sea of mess, striving to meet the expectations and most of all to create a nite worthy to all who are attending.

Stress is an evil thing. It can ride up into ur mind and play dirty games inside, making your days havoc and mood terrible. But I am still learning how to laugh it away~

During that nite, things didn't really go as planned honestly. Add to it, the awful traffic jam, untimely raining session and other small unexpected unpleasant 'surprises'. What did we get? STRESS.

But then, once you see the familiar faces greeting you, the familiar voices teasing you, all the negativities just began to fade off gradually. It was such a nice picture. Seeing all your frens in their best attire, acting posh while still talking rubbish, taking pictures in stupid poses, laughing at each others' attempts to act cool, picking small fights and so on. IT was busy and frsutrating at times, but then when I think of these happy moments, seriously nothing measures up.

Top moments of the night:
1) Getting made up and ready with my besties!
2) The food was nice! Loved the salmon esp the potato part! Loved the tiramisu and the chocolate platter!
3) Watching Siew Chin sing and then Gary's table screaming, "Siew Chin I love you" in the end!
4) Public teasing of Amy, Siew Chin, Jing Wen, Meng Sang and Chun Ming during the King & Queen session!
5) Jing Wen's sword dance and catwalk.
6) Surprising Woody with a bday cake!
7) Everyone telling 'YUM SING'~!
8) A parody of stupid pictures!
9) Feasting my eyes while looking for the KING~~!
10) Countless random jokes~!

Also, Mr Lai Jing Wen won the MUMSU Ball King title! And he better keep his prize nicely~ I really hope I didn;t mess up the King & Queen part! Ray did well while I stoned there. Seriously, like I said, I am not a PERFORMER. Not onstage definitely!

Wendy and Ben did a good job tho! It really is not easy performing! Everyone on my table won something (almost!) and I didn;t! Wenji won a $200 Famous Amos hamper! Is that a blast or what? I am definitely gonna nick some from her!

All in all it was a fun nite! Too bad to those who couldn't make it. Believe me, ask everyone and they would agree how worth it was!

So the break is here! I slept till 1 pm just now. Was seriously exhausted last nite! So this coming break, I wanna:

1) Karaoke!
2) HAve a small BBQ!
3) Play piano!
4) Eat chocolate cakes!
5) Study!
6) Yum Cha!
7) Sing loads!
8) Spend time with my dear, ya!
9) Loads more!
10) Sleep!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What if I drown?

I feel like drowning rite now? Not because of fits of suffocation or of something sorrowful. Just a mix of emptiness, a pinch of stress, a hint of uneasiness, a dash or worry and a small spark of frustration. All of these adds up to level 1 drowning.

This is the least significant one but then at the same time, the most prominent one inside of me! For the past few days, I had been resorting to it for ease and comfort. Sorta like something to look forward to at the end of a long tired day! I finished up all 22 episodes of Ouran Koukou Hosuto Club! Oh no! Today I felt like I had nothing to do! I miss anticipating for the moment I set my fingers tapping on DC++! That is why, the emptiness.....

Somehow, always, always, always, itsu mo, itsu mo, itsu mo. Around 5 weeks before the finals, I'll start feeling like I should have worked harder. Now, although the labs are ending slowly (I just did the last lab for CHM2962 and done the last report for CHM2922!), and the waves of reports are slowing taming, somehow, there is this persistant stressful feeling inside me. I am forever trying to dig it out.

Things I am stressing of now:
1) Finals
2) To be able to study in time
3) MUMSU Ball
4) Assignments
5) Losing Weight

Hm...there is this funny sort of uneasiness inside of me. Rendering me not being able to make peace with myself. It is like I am dissatisfied with so much that is going on around me that I am feeling guilty for being this way. Maybe it started from stress? Maybe I am just over-reacting?

Regardless, i feel uneasy. I wanna make peace with myself as soon as possible. But what is causing all this?

Seems like everyone can be associated with this word rite? But then luckily for me, I have low affinity to this word. Usually I worry for 10 minutes only to throw it all away later! Cos like I always say " the boat will go straight automatically, once it reaches the port". So I guess I am healthy this way! Currently I am worried of the MUMSU Ball, but I said, it'll be alrite in the end. Just gotta hang on to this thought and go through it.

I can't take this anymore! Seriously this had never been an issue in my life. But then lately, why does it seem like everyone's picking on me about my weight?

People's general response towards my recent weight:
1) Teasing
2) Nagging
3) Laughing
4) Constant-reminding
5) Never-Fail-To-Ask-Question

I must admit that I have succumbed into believing that I really gained a whole lot of evil weight and now it is like I am punished! Verbally! Hm....regardless, I try to make a joke out of everything. Maybe as a comfort to myself, to make the situation less awkward, to numb my sensitive side? I don't know. I just do it, without me myself realizing. But then, I believe I can do it! He he!

Seems like this post is so negative. Sumimasen for complaining and complaining so much here! However, which leads me to think, aren't all this little negativities what drive us towards striving for the better? In controllable amounts, somehow they seem like motivation to some or the pushing/driving FORCE to the lazy others. It may seem monstrous from time to time. It might even have pushed you too hard sometimes.

But what will life be without all these? Will you be satisfied with a life like that? While we love stretches of blue skies and green fields, won't the same scenery become dull if it remains so forever? Even with such negativities in life, we find it hard to appreciate the good things in life. What do you think will become of us, if we take the negativities away?

So, I am still a bit agitated over all these, but then I appreciate it to be here, at this very momeny.

Random Statements:
Fitzroy is a must visit place.
Blythe dolls are kinda scary!
Starting to study CHM 2922!
Gonna return M'sia next yr!
The T2 Tea is making me a toilet-regular.
I love my Moroccan Rose lotion! Kleins is the best.
The Sesame Red Bean Bun from Asian Grocery at Campus Centre was real bad.....
I love being an Asian and am proud of it!
Amy's mum's coming!!
I want more of Ouran!

Saturday, September 9, 2006

All sorts of unnecessary bugs in my head.

It is funny how a little bit of this and that can crowd up your mind. A little bit of stress, a little bit of confusion, a little bit of pressure and a little bit of frustration. Ends up being a swell of burden so heavy that you feel like just throwing your head into your beloved pillow and dream your day away. That's life!

But then, try separating all those 'this n that'. See each of them carefully. You'll realize that sometimes, they're actually quite insignificant stuff when viewed individually. Not insignificant, or should I say, they are actually not as burdening as they seemed to be. If I take one thing at a time, step by step, I am sure I can finish up everything nicely in the end. I am optimistic, as always.

Now the mission is to not let things overwhelm me. When you think back, there were always times when you thought you had it bad rite? But now, aren't we all still doing alright?

Today is my big-bad- GUILTY- day. I got the dress which had been haunting my mind ever since yesterday. It popped up in my mind and stayed there for an average of 15 minutes during these circumstances:
1) Walked past a dress store in Brandon Park
2) Saw the silky PJs at BNT
3) Random thoughts, then 'POP'. There it was.
4) Appeared in my dream.
5) IT just won't let me go.

So I went ahead and bought it. For the coming MUMSU Ball. Which I think is not really such a bad idea. Cos, I actually won't need to buy shoes as it matches well with the heels i brought over and its simplicity is actually a plus point, making mixing and maching easier when it comes to accessories and stuff~ OK, now here is the list of my accomplices who 'supported' and 'encourage' me to get the dress:
1) AMY- top supported
2) Olivia
3) Chitra

..........Ok, it is a short list but they did play a big part in the process!

There's another crossroad in my life. Whether to stay here for the next year or to return. But it all depends on my dad, i guess. But when he asked me what I wanted, part of me wishes to return just for old times' sake, missing my previous lifestyle and all the nice people back there. Another part of me wishes to remain here, realizing i am actually begining to see independence in me, to learn new things, and there is a network of close knit friends that I dread to leave here. But then I decided that thinking won't lead me anywhere! So now I am focusing on..... Going back to Sandakan for my summer holidays and nothing else!

Tomorrow! Off to Box Hill to find sponsorships! One of the major bugs in my head. Feel kinda bad for not being able to contribute. There is this temptation to just not care and hide but then, I am a Capricorn! I just cannot bear to do it. Guess I'll just try my best not embarass myself. Or most importantly, not embarass MUMSU! Then we are planning to go to Richmond for some nice food! But not to worry, my pals, I am still on a diet! Seriously.

When your dreams resemble your reality, is it living your dream or avoiding the reality? I am living in a dream now. I always get people telling me that I am very lucky. Honestly, I guess I am, slightly.....? I have never really met any hardships in life before. I count it as a blessing. But then again, what will happen if this luck of mine runs out someday? I wonder....

Being told you are lucky, is sometimes a bit funny. Does it mean that your capabilities are not solid enough to be recognized by others? Or does it mean that you are given a gift exclusive few others in this whole wide world? I love being lucky and being told that I am lucky. But there are days when it makes me feel a bit sulky to be told that.

Random statements:
I love Trampoline Open Sesame.
And this currently playing song in my blogsite!
And Ouran Host Club is so funny!
Missing shopping sprees in One Utama!
Chatting with WenJi who is only less than 30 steps away from me.
Misses Teru a lot.
Angry at someone 'mean' now!
I wanna sleep now so that I can wake up earlier for piano tomorrow~

Friday, September 8, 2006

All sorts of eye candy!

Despite all attempts to reject all sinful food, I had a really really sinful day today. And it ended just as badly!

It was such an exciting day going all the way to Bridge Rd, the city and Crown, with my 2 best gal pals, all of us buzzing with excitement at the thought of shopping for a dress! But then again, typical of me, I failed to get a single item in the end! IS this a failure? Maybe you would say no. But then hear me out, those other 2 who supposedly were gonna accompany me ONLY, bought so much stuffs! Now, again, am i a failure?

Top disappointments of the day:
1) The exaggerating prices of the dresses.
2) Looking fat in the dress!
3) Failing to resist Trampoline!
4) Losing what I most anticipated for the whole day!

I really must lose some weight! Gonna resume my diet plan starting tomorrow! 80% exercise and 20% food! Oh....make some space for studying as well. And PIANO! Oh gosh, am i addicted... Every morning, I wake up automatically around 8, just so that I can get ready earlier and spare some time to play ZANARKAND, yes, still Zanarkand, in the common room. The same scenario repeats everyday. ME there, struggling with Zanarkand and the cleaning lady vacuuming behind me. Yes, I hope it didn;t annoy her too badly!

I ate a lot today! Ate a big muffin from Coffee HQ, then 20% of the Limited Edition Mars Bar ( really a must-try to all, it is not as sweet as the original but then highly chocolate-y and simple devilish to the taste buds!), Trampoline (open sesame, lychee and line and choco nougat.....simply irresistable....), Pork Chop Vermicelli at Mekong (not really nice but still....), Japanese Ice Cream at Crown (Durian and Taro~~) and 20% of the Cookies and Cream Cake at Crown. Is that a lot? I guess.....? Please dun tell me the exact answer to this question! And the one healthy option, the apple I brought alone, was left alone and rotten in my bag.

I must remain motivated and focused! Fighto fighto fighto!

Lately I heard a really really joyous and cute and..sorta strange song from GLAY~! Denki iruka something something.... It is really nice and has been playing repetitiously in my head all day~ I kinda enjoy it! It is a very nice feeling to have a happy and uplifting song playing in ur mind all day. Somehow, it helps pushes, if not neutralizes the negativities which usually crowd our minds. Although its effect is momentary, I would like to enjoy this short process.

I hope life would be like that song. Joyous, uplifting, easy, simple, cheerful, quirky, relaxing and its extraordinary power to induce a smile upon your face. 'I love my life' -- I will try to protect this statement for as long as i live.