My high school story

I woke up to a surprising Facebook incident today (I am officially a Facebook regular now, sad), my previous high school headmaster actually added me on Facebook! I am within his network, as a friend! Isn't that an honour? He actually remembers me!! *beams*

Ahhhhh, high school. Such a protected and yet complicated community.

My high-school era was really calm. Uneventful. Smoothsailing.
Basically not movie-worthy.

But being immersed or should I say unable to escape the influence of media, I always hoped it was more eventful than that. After all, I was a high-schooler and high school was supposed to be exciting. Youth, man, youth. Well, shoujo-mangas (female-teen Japanese comics) and soap dramas (HK and US, mostly) told me that.

I used to think it would be so great if I had more love interests (both interested in me and me interested in them), or to be more exact - love stories. Like, to have guys going after me, secret love letters, best friends falling for me, me rejecting someone, secret admirers sitting beside me, . . . . . okay, better wrap it up. But obviously, none of that happened (Boooooo). Just 'secret admirers' whose identities remain secret even to me but of which their existence I strongly believe in! Wahaha.

I even remember a certain classmate asking me, "Eh, actually, do you even have guys going after you?" Pffft. Truth was, not really. But clever/poor me just replied, "Why should I tell you?"

This went on for most of my high school days, sigh. While the shoujo-mangas and soap dramas continued grilling on this subject, I resorted to daydreaming about the guys going after me with a bunch of humongous red roses, secret love letters 15 pages long, best friends falling for me and unable to hold back their feelings, me rejecting someone who is a random person on the street, secret admirers beside, behind, infront, left, right, everywhere kyaaaa! Haha, see the escalation of imagination - like a spinster approaching menopause *embarassed*

Obviously, none of that happened and my only wish is for the secret admirers part to be at least 0.001% true (please la).

And when I did get into a relationship before high school officially ended, it did not start off like what I imagined - 1000 stalks of roses hidden behind him, confession of love under the sunset, surprise love letter hiding inside my Pendidikan Moral textbook, fireworks over the starry night~ siggghhhhhh. But of course, the essence of first love such as the butterflies in stomach, anxious hearts and sweetness in tiny acts were present :-) Just none of my over the top high school fantasies *whistles*

Due to the lack of 'events' *ahem*, I always thought how nice it would be if only I was prettier, had a nicer figure, more charming or was within the popular group.

Well, in terms of the look department, I am now an improved version of myself. If now can be called an improved version then try imagining the previous version. Although this might be fun for those of you who have never seen the real previous Me but be nice and don't take your imagination too far okay. For those who have, enjoy *roar*!

I was really nerdy. Spectacles always sitting near the tip of my nose. Slightly hunched back. Skinny and frail. Dark and oily complexion. Messy, curly hair. Uniform slightly bigger than my fit. Bushy eyebrows. Sleepy eyes. Do not wear sleeveless tops or skirts - too revealing la!

I hope a lit lightbulb did not appear near you right now or the thought, "Now I know why there were no 'events'!" *ROAR*

Like I said in my previous post, there are no ugly girls, just lazy girls. And I was a lazy girl or in more accurate terms, a clueless girl not knowing how to be hardworking :-(

But then again, I think it was more of my personality, sigh. I was really shy, very reserved, extremely timid, could not adapt to the culture shock and to a certain extent, confused. End result? A Loretta who did not talk, attempt eye contact, make friends.

I would wish I were as outgoing, charming, popular and influential as the others. The pretty ones. The smart ones. The funny ones. The popular ones.

But did nothing about it except lament in my own sorrows and curse fate.

Luckily, there reached a turning point in my life where I gradually became more confident and acceptive of myself. It was not really a point actually, more like a gradual process. I became more cheerful, positive, carefree, friendly and assertive. In a nutshell - I loved myself more.

And with this, I enjoyed life and everything it brought me from then onwards.

But still no 'events'! Already friendly, funny, cheerful, nice and improved a bit in looks, still no 'events' wor! Why!?

Well, thing is - although I was always waiting for 'events', I was never really into 'boys'. And please do not decipher this statement the wrong way!! I am very much interested only in boys (now, men :->) but back then, I was not attracted to boys at all. It is like wanting a wedding and not marriage or a relationship and not commitment, I hope you get it, oh please do. Throughout the majority of my high school life, I never had crushes, did not secretly admire anyone, had not been lovesick, had not confessed to anyone, had not have fantasies of 'events' with anyone I know (but oh yes with pop stars, anime characters).

And when I did get more outgoing, I was always hanging out with guys as one of the 'guys' (ah ceh). Until now, this bunch of people still treat me as a little boy, please congratulate me :-(

And so after that I wished I was more feminine, girly, sexy? Wahaha, I actually laughed out loud myself after typing that out. Actually kinda. But obviously it did not go that way as I succumbed into the world of video games, J-rock music, more anime, more manga, more hanging out with the boys and more being Loretta.

Hence, the story of my uneventful but very imaginative (not delusional) high school era. Sigh.

I still haven't been properly confessed to (ish).
I still haven't been romanced off my feet >:-(
I still haven't been in a scene that could be something ripped straight out of a sappy love drama (yer!).
I still haven't received any love letters, written love letters (youth.... youth....)
I still haven't been flattered by words so sweet (and can be false) that I can blush to death (sigh).

But I am totally happy and in love.

Are you thinking that I am gonna complete this post with "and that is all that matters"?

NO!

Miss Lo here is approaching 22 in a matter of 28 days alrite and there is not much time to realize all these high school dreams/ambitions/fantasies/aspirations! Or else what?! Force someone to write me a love letter 2 seconds before I turn 35?

Argh!! All I want for Christmas is. . . (hehe, not willing to sacrifice my birthday wishes or presents for this >:-D)