Monday, July 17, 2006

G4's grand arrival.

Today had been a day of rapidly changing emotions. OK, let me start rite now.

Last nite, I didnt really wanted to sleep as part of me was resisting to accept the fact that holidays had ended. Time to sleep early and wake up early. To rise while the sun is still shinging. I even surrendered to the trick of leaving my curtains slightly ajar, so that the sunlight can annoy me badly enough to wake me up.

But throughout the nite, I actually couldnt sleep. Scared of being late in the morning, of bad weather, of accidents and so on. So bad that I actually woke up at 6 am! And had so much time to prepare! I was nervous. But how come?

During lecture, as usual, I felt bored. So badly that I almost nodded off, yet again.

Then I met some frens for lunch and this time I felt weird. Although it had just been around one month since we met each other again under these circumstances, at that place. I expected lots of memories of the old times and laughs n jokes just like the way it was before. But for some reasons, although the same jokes are shared, the same topic of conversation, the same people are there .....everything was the same. But only, the feeling was different. It made me think, can one single incident leave such a deep impact in wat i used to think of as a strong friendship we had? I felt uncomfortable, uneasy and weird.

I had a MUMSU meeting after that and although usually I am attentive and interested, today I was rather zoned out and .......blur? Hm, this is the Teddy-effect. Although things had been fine and seriously I have never been so sure of things, deep inside I am still a bit unstable whenever he's around. Or when he's around and everyone's around. This is embarassing considering that i'll be turning 20 soon. Quoting my best pal, "Girls need security and assurance the most." I am actually a girl! Hehe.....Probably, once I am totally assured of things, I can perhaps be better at this? I hope!

Then, as soon as I reached home, opened my mailbox, the biggest biggest surprise was there for me! It was the yellow little card telling me that I had a parcel. Because of my strong bond with Teru, at once I knew that my precious precious G4 has arrived. In less than 1 min, I left all my stuff in my room and jogged to claim my precious! The moment I held G4 in my hands, I was so touched! And just wait for the review of this exciting new single! Gonna be a blast!

Then it was heart attack time. I went to my usual shower place, but the place was pitch black and looked so so creepy since the air was cold! So i rushed upstairs to the other shower place, totally shaken only to be greeted by another heart attack. As expected, I acted foolishly again. Erghh..... thinking of it makes me cringe.

Now, after spending a quiet night on my own, I realized that my mind is filled with a really annoying toxin! Trying hard to shake it off to no avail! It is great when you have someone in your mind all the time. Someone whose mere image or memory of him can make you smile, laugh or make ur heart skip a beat. But having someone in ur mind all the time also means you anticipate more of the next meeting, the next conversation, the next laugh and.....just everything revolving around him. Some interruption came, let's continue!

It is important to strike a balance in this I know. So rite now, I can say that I dun anticipate the next time i see him.....for now, cos u just left! Haha!

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