Glasses

What am I doing now?




Procrastinating!


Strangely, I have been living in a very laid-back way during pre-exam season. I woke up (without setting an alarm to do so), in jumpers and socks - baked an apple cake, did my laundry, read a bit of Law and read some manga, missed the bus to Caulfield, gossipped with some coursemates, attended a lecture, did some grocery, had a hot shower and here I am blogging now.


Isn't this like the life of a Tai Tai? Well, it does when you distort it a bit. . . .


. . . Woke up, still in jumpers and socks - baked an apple cake, did my laundry, read a bit of newspaper and read some magazines, missed the bus to Caulfield, gossipped with some neighbours, attended a cooking class, did some grocery, had a hot shower and here I am writing in my diary now.


7 out of the 12 things I did, didn't even need any distortion to sound 'aunty' at all! Oh no! What is happening to me?! And lemme remind you again, I am just 21. Program it in!


And I think I found out what is causing this. It is my glasses. Yep, definitely.


Ever since I started wearing or was forced to wear glasses, I have been feeling restricted. 'Restricted' in a very 'undefined' sense, but lemme try to define it here:

• physically - (the weight of the glasses + gravity = Hiro Nakamura in me), (Prevent being Hiro Nakamura + muscular straining = headache), (Hiro Nakamura action + dirty fingers = blotchy lenses), (Blotchy lenses = oily face + unclear vision + sleepiness).


• emotionally: (barrier of communication), (weak eye contact).


• dressing: (constant feeling of having a large chunk of stufffff/ a million accessories which is overshadowing youe face) Thus, (glasses + bushy bushy hair = no face see people).
  

In fact I realized this only when I was talking to a coursemate today, who has got huge blue eyes (!!), and I found myself being unnatural or a bit insecure. For I was wearing my contact lens today. Suddenly everything around me were so clear, I recognized Shimona from afar (finally. . ) and there was this weightlessness I felt or maybe, a sense of relief? Yet, suddenly I feel very 'exposed' or 'bare' - hence the insecurity. Whatever is wrong with me?

With this 'glasses' issue, what mattered is not really the 'glasses as a physical object'. It is the sense of having recovered from an eye condition which I have no control over. The desire to be free from it and the desperation to prove my victory over this illness to myself.

. . . .and the desperation to lose weight before I revert back to my 'Youthful Self' version 2006.