Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Make Me Over

There was a time when I would not dare to dye my hair, make up too much or dress up too fancily, just in case others couldn't recognise me behind all the glitz.

"What if I keep my hair black again, will they not recognise me?"
"What if I don't apply my mascara+eyeliner+blusher combo, will they not say 'hi' to me on the streets?"
"What if they see me in my pyjama at KMart, will they be shocked dead?"

So for the two years after high school and before coming to Aussie, I have had minimal make-over.

Something along the lines of:

- Light brown eyeliner over black, and you know, it doesn't look like it's there.

- Chestnut brown/ash brown over red hair, cause you know, so that I still look Asian.

- Normal contact lens over pupil enlarging/colour ones, cause you know, eyes look duh normal.

- No concealer, so that you know, it seems like I am not 'trying' to hide my imperfections.

- Loose clothings over tight ones, cause you know, uh, I have an abdominal issue.

It is all about looking natural, you know.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

And then I thought.

Why put in all this effort if no one is going to notice?
And most importantly, if I don't feel satisfied with the result?!?!?

I mean, all the thoughts about fearing not being recognised or identifiable by others - about trying to remain as myself - phew, yes that is important. But what if I am changing and for the better?

Let's say, making up. Is more make up the equivalent of bad or running away from yourself or even hiding whatever you hate about yourself from the world?

Haih, why must we think so negatively. Sure I hate the dark circles (So much so I could kill his/her whole family). But instead of thinking we are hiding our flaws or putting on a face (literally), why can't we see it as enhancing our natural beauty with a little help from harmless powder and colour?

Changing your image from time to time doesn't mean you are not being yourself. Maybe, you are someone who love changes - then if you don't change that will mean you are not being yourself! And what better or easier way to shake up things in your world than a different shade of eyeshadow or thicker eyeshadows?

Oh of course, a different hairstyle.

I have tried all dark shades - all kinds of dark brown. Then there came the fateful day when a hairdresser accidentally gave me a colour - maybe 10 shades lighter than what I wanted. I was shocked beyond words! I coloured it 5 shades darker straight away but!!! It made me realise something.

Colour rocks. Big time.

Not only does it freshen up your look almost immediately. Regardless of how crappy you feel, you feel like there is a whole new beginning at your fingertips and your future is so bright! Wahhhhhhh. (I feel like colouring my hair ady now)

But does a red or blue hair colour mean I am defying my roots? From my perspective, loosen up, it is just hair colour, mate! I don't hate my original hair colour, I lurve my hair. Just wanted to play dress up with it that's all~ Okay, maybe I wanted to look like Kairi when I dyed my hair red so I admit it I wanted to defy my roots as a human and be a fictional character.

Then come the issue of dressing up - be it sexy, cute, sultry, glamorous, flashy, elegant or casual - must I just choose one of them, why can't I be all!?

Is it trying too hard if someone like me - short, slightly tubby and even more slightly round tummy - tries to go 10% sexier? I am willing to suck in my tummy to wear that tighter dress. I am also willing to exercise more to tone up for the summer shorts.

Where is the harm in that? That's right, there is none!

The point of this post is - I think - there is no need to limit yourself in expressing your inner child when playing with something as harmless as appearance as long as you love what you see and enjoy what you are doing.

It might draw weird glances and small talk from others - but most importantly is you feel happy inside. And when you are happy, spread the message to those who gave you the weird glances and small talk - tell them it is okay for them to be like you!

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