Monday, April 12, 2010


It has been a while so I have almost forgotten what it is like to be on a Long Distance Relationship.

The last time this happened was in 2007 and it lasted a year.

Mr was coming back to Aussie for his final year of studies and Me staying back in Malaysia for my final year of studies.

I remember saying goodbye and crying (as expected) at the tiny airport of Sandakan. After all, back then I did not know when or even if I would see him again.

At that point of time, my LDR was indefinite and that must be the worst kind of LDR. Not knowing if there is an end to it and even if there is - if it would be a happy or a sad one. It made me wonder about all kinds of stuff - why I even started this relationship, being the main question.

We would keep in touch by:
Calling once in a blue moon.
Video chatting online every once in a while.
SMSing whenever credit allows.
Relying on MSN heavily.

After a while, I got really used to not seeing Mr and I bet he felt the same.

We were in a relationship but not quite so.
The feeling was there but not quite strong.

It was weird.

And then due to a twist of fate, I was going to return to Aussie where Mr was.

I was happy but not the ecstatic kind, just mild.
He was happy but not that excited, just as mild.

When we met, it wasn't passion - we were both a bit shy. If not, awkward.

For the first few months, we would do things separately, we would be really quiet/paiseh and we would be hang out at different places. We just did not know how to be together anymore.

Before we knew it, we were fighting a lot - really meek, mild fights - out of frustration and confusion. But I guess at the end of the day, the fights drew us closer and helped us understand each other again.

Time flew and we have been spending almost everyday together for 2 years - going through jobhunting, unemployment and weight gain. I can confidently say that we are stronger and surer than ever.

So this time around, the LDR - albeit really sudden and unexpected - wasn't so bad.

Maybe it was so sudden that I don't feel it just yet.
Maybe it has been just a few days so it doesn't feel real yet.

But come next week when Mr comes back, I wonder how I would feel.
I can surely say that it won't be mild like before.
And I can more surely say that when the time comes for Mr to leave again, it will be more un-mild.

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