Saturday, July 31, 2010

Reality vs. imaginary futures from the past

I have always imagined my future ever since I was young.

Before I was 10, my imaginary future was like this:

I would be working in an office of 30 people in Sandakan where my colleagues would consist of mostly female in their twenties. We would go out for lunch together everyday and go shopping on Saturdays at Mile 4. Every night I would go home for dinner cooked by my Mum or even Grandma - there would be soup, 3 dishes and fruits. Tehn we would watch TVB together anad curse about the bad guy in the drama. I would get a boyfriend who works in another office and we would spend every Sunday together with my family eating kon lou min at Mile 4 again, before we go shopping or visit his family at Mile 4 again. Around age 26, we would discuss about getting married and we would. It would be a ceremony back in Sandakan and everyone would be invited. Then we would have two kids - a girl and a boy. And live happily ever after in Sandakan with annual holidays.

Then when I was in high school, my imaginary future was like this:

I would study in KL with my highschool sweet heart and meet people from all over Malaysia. We would endure the tough times of studying and graduating together. After graduating, we would get a job in KL or Singapore. Together we would save money for marriage and family. My family would migrate over to KL/Singapore depending on where I would be. My parents would stay with me after I get married. So every day after work I would go back to nicely prepared meals and freshly showered kids courtesy of my dear Mum. And live happily ever after in KL/Singapore with annual road trips around Malaysia.

Then when during my first year in Australia, my imaginary future was like:

I would get a boyfriend who is kind, dashing and gentleman. We would spend our days in Australia, walking under the sun, travelling around town - without a care of the world. I would go back to Malaysia after that to graduate and to work while he would remain in Australia to graduate and to work. We would be on LDR. I would work in a laboratory and go back to nicely prepared dinners by my Mum followed by strolls around pasar malam after dinner. Before sleep every night, I would call, Skype or MSN with my boyfriend. As soon as I reach 27, my boyfriend would either return to Malaysia or bring me over to Australia. We would get married and have two kids who can speak Chinese and English. My parents would migrate to Australia and stay with us and live happily ever after.

And so we arrived to right now.

Never in the world in my previous imaginary futures had I expected to be:

Living under the same roof with a bunch of similarly aged friends, all of us away from family and pursuing a career here. I thought such a world existed in Friends the sitcom, only.

Living away from home and the luxuries of having dinner prepared for me everynight, no bills or rents to worry about, groceries/laundry done for me.

Living with a dog who is as bratty and mischievious as can be.

Cooking meals as simple as oat with vegetables to as complicated as a failed three tier chocolate cake, every single night.

Chasing so hard after and focusing so much on my career ans aspirations that a family of my own is not on the cards right now.

Having so much ups and downs with my stable partner instead of getting engaged after being together for for years, getting married after being engaged for 1 year and having kids after being married for 1 year - you know, like a static plan.

Travelling all over Australia and to Japan and planning to travel everywhere else in the world instead of saving all my money for marriage and family.

Having to exercise to maintain my figure!! (I was so skinny back then)...


Surely, this isn't exactly the future I anticipated for years ago but I can't help feeling contented at the excitement - for the uncertainties, opportunities and possibilities - that I face right now.

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