Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thoughts going through my head as I freak out about being 23

There I was packing and unpacking as I move to my third house in Melbourne ever since I stepped onto this land at the lovely age of 19 (going on 20).

Back then aging wasn't a bittersweet thing and age certainly wasn't a factor. I still remember the three tiny goals I had with me upon starting a new life in Australia:
1) Make many new friends from different countries.
2) Get good results and not disappoint parents.
3) Get a boyfriend!
(The former two were rather unknown to friends but I swear was my main focus point)

Ticked all of them before I left Melbourne and goal number 3 was particularly achieved with flying colours. Woot.

But who knew 3 years would pass by that quickly - 23 now.
And now that I know 3 years pass by so quickly - 26 soon, is it not time to freak out?

Why you ask?

For according to the Loretta Official Life Map version 1999, 26 is the age by when I should be married (by latest somemore!!!!!).

Okay, relax. That was year 1999, my thinking has changed. But then. . .

Friend: It is like so crazy, all my friends are like getting married now.
Me: Yeah tell me about it. When do you plan to get married?
Friend: Not so young! Maybe another 3-4 years down the road.
Me: Sounds fair! By the way, how old are you?
Friend: I'm 20 this year.

Sweat. 3-4 years down the road for her means 'now' for me, isn't it?

The truth is, I still feel young (!) young (!) young (!) as of this moment. I can't imagine starting a family and seeing multiple Mini-Me's in the next 2 years! Gonna be hair raising, if they are going to inherit my superior hairy gene.

Young is definitely not determined by age, I strongly believe (and even more strongly try to convince myself). Sure the number is bigger. So what, it sounds mightier.

I certainly don't think I look younger/prettier when I was way younger. Even in Korea, where the sunlight is supposed to make you look fairer and impart a sense of having plastic surgery on you.

Sure right now, I don't really enjoy looking at my tummy and thighs while curled up in bed from THIS angle.

But I sure would love to keep the baby skin, chubby face and slick hairstyle.

After battles with exam, acne, expanding waistline, social issues and also boyband-obsession, I am sure I came out a wiser person right now.
For example, there is a great sense of achievement/empowerment when you return to the same place you visited under the care of your family, but this time by yourself.
The truth is, I feel like I can do a lot more. I am even ready to plan a holiday to bring my family to ( and handle the hard part of satisfying everyone on the tour!)

But there is stillllllll a lot more I want to and need to do. There really is no such thing as stopping to learn or stopping to improve oneself at any age right.
Hence, I am still fired up about getting my bikini body (3 years overdue, so what!! That is the power of my age!). I mean, honestly, if not a taut toned bikini body in your early twenties, then when? Once the sagging, celluliting, flabby-ing and wrinkling take place, you have not a battle but a war to fight for your bikini body!
Sure it is harder to wear my bikini out right now (I mean, out of my room), but the day will come!
But there is something sweet about being able to be a princess at any age with the people who love you (and you love back, of course).
Believe it, I tested this theory this time around when I went back to Malaysia. And I forcefully tested this theory on Ray. Literally.
Me: Why don't you try treating me like a princess for a day? Is it that hard!?!
Ray: Okay when do you want it to be?
Me: Tomorrow.
Ray: Okay.
*Poof* Forgotten by both.

There is an inner princess or child in every girl.
I love flowery skirts and wear them still.
I love mid-riff bearing clothes and . . . . well, not really wear them at all.
I love dolling up with my Mum and does that still.
Oh but whatever the age is I am still Me. A bit changes here and there but still me.

And I am still packing and unpacking this amazing mass of baggage+clutter we have.

It is not easy moving from one place to another. Just take the cleaning. People always say cleaning is therapeutic. I guess it is because of all that time you have for you to think. Hence this inspirational post.
WenJi can even drive a 1-tonne truck. Take that as inspirational!

Storms can get heavier and battles can get tougher as you grow older.
Just like a hailstorm in the middle of moving a refrigerator.

Look at the major pieces of ice.

Sure they cause pain and bring trouble - but they come from the sky .

And the plants and little organisms love things from the sky.
There must be something special about it. One of my dream really is to discover a place like Sky Island in One Piece.

Speaking of which, at age 23, it is perfectly appropriate for me to love fantasies and believe in them - to a certain extent in reality and to full extent in my mind!
For one of my fantasies really did come true - raising a puppy.

My Shiro isn't the smartest, most obedient or most charming dog in the world. But he is the love of my life.
Despite saying so, I smacked him several times as I was unpacking.

My Mum once said that kids must be 'disciplined' with the power of the cane. I, at age 10, said no I would never teach my kids that way.
And today, I at 23, teach my Shiro that way.
Then there was this wise thing that a friend told me once.
Friend P: Kids? Why have kids? It's a different story if they turn out well. If you can't teach them well, the society will blame you, the government will blame you, the PTA will blame you, you will blame yourself. Sigh, why bother shortening your life, better not have kids laaaaa.
Isn't that funny?
In fact, I am more into taking pictures of myself than getting married or having kids right now.
See, young at heart.
Oh and another picture!

And one more!

Oh and more to unpack! Stuff it!

I never thought I would be living with friends in a foreign land when I was young. I always thought I would be living with my family, working in an office and going home for dinner every night.
But looking at the amount of sauces we have, I realised I have come a long way.

Irrelevant? No.
If I were back home, I never would have learnt how to cook, what different sauces are for, how much are groceries, how to take care of another person and most importantly, how to take care of myself.

For example, my little baby Shiro.
So at age 23, I am pretty much quite happy with the way things are and the way I am . . . and still freaking out!
And still have loads to unpack!

Which in turn also means, more time to continue thinking and freaking out!!

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