Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Clearing up!

My path is clearing up as I approach the real beast.

Or, in plain words, my assignments are clearing up as the finals approach.

Although it seems like there are so much assignments to fuss about and so much studies to stress about, somehow I still feel very positive about everything. I do get stress-pangs, but then they are really temporary....say, 10 mins? I dunno whether this is a quality in me or a weakness!

Being optimistic is always refered to as a good thing. But then, being an optimist myself, I'm not sure if it is all that good. To have the tendency to laugh things of, to joke about myself, to see the bright side of everything, to create hope for myself and to always see the good side on people. It seems like sunshine, even through the thickest clouds.

But then, is optimism, just an evasion from reality? To forget about problems by laughing it off, to escape sadness by joking about ownself, to hide from the dark side of things, to believe in illusions as hope and to protect myself from the cruelty of people. It seems like the sun hidden by the dark clouds.

So, as a conclusion, is this optimism in me just another form of cowardice?
But then, without this element, inside of me, will I still live on as happy as I am now?

Lately, I realized that there are a lot of illusions around me which gives me momentary gladness. For example, I love looking at my elongated shadow underneath the sun. It makes 'me' look so much taller and slimmer. It always makes me grin a little. Small things like this sometimes, can make my day. Guess, this is the advantage of being an optimist.

If optimism, makes me happier everyday, then I don't mind the courage I might lose because of it. In this short life, I guess, happiness is the most important.

But am I willing to chase for my own happiness?
Where is the courage to do so?

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