This 2009

'A new year always promises new beginings' - is what I have always believed in, without me realizing it.

New beginings as in changes in life, the entering of another phase, the outlook for something new, the realization of a new dream, the making of new aims/goals.

Hence, new year resolutions. Despite so, I have never been one who makes and chases after new year resolutions. After all, there is no reason to wait till a new year for one to make changes for oneself. Thus, now I think -

A new year usually brings changes due to inevitable or to a certain extent, arranged events in life (entering a new school, aging a year, etc) but we ourselves create the 'begining' thus, the 'ending' as well.

This 2009, I see major 'beginings' in my life :-) For better or worse, here I come!

Yours Truly is finally starting her career path. 2008 was a life-changing year for me - overturned my career outlook totally, found a new passion I want to build a career on. 2009 will be one I work hard on. Whenever I think of this I always see a picture:

Me in my running shoes which are slightly dirty, standing at the begining of a long and winding path of which the destination is out of sight. I see myself biting my own lips, heart beating fast, body a bit shaky nevertheless stretching and warming up for the challenge. In this picture, the sun is always shining and there are always all sorts of greens everywhere - hence a happy picture *despite the depressing stories of unemployment haha*

Being a fresh graduate, I think I can be forgiven if I am slightly too ambitious, too hopeful or expecting too much of my future? I might crash and burn, but then again, this is life I guess. Give it your all and face all that it's gonna throw back at ya!

I am really really, looking forward to how this journey is gonna be for me. Stories, both good and bad from friends of all walks of life, have always intrigued me so badly. Frankly, I couldn't wait to jump into this phase last year. It was just amazing seeing how different people could end up in all these places, achieveing something they could call their own.

And now, I shall begin this chapter of my life.

Second, my location. I have decided to stay here in Australia and have proceeded on with the relevant applications. Although the decision to stay has always seemed to be like a norm to most of those who studied over here, but when it comes to you yourself - it ends up being a huge decision after all.

All my years here, I have spent as a student. Now, deciding to stay and work over here - I feel like I am building my own life. That might be a bit exaggerative but I felt that way, really!

New life as in, a lifestyle different from what I was taught or practiced before this. Where I can venture more into independence. Where I can plan for a future different from what I previously envisioned.

I really enjoy my life here appreciating things never before in the previous 20 years of my life (omg, sounds so old). Just like what MengFai misses about this place. Although I don't know how long I can or will stay here, but I see now the kind of life I want to work towards.

Another major thing will be my family :-) The opportunity to study/ work overseas is great but there is also the great loss of not being able to see/talk/be with your loved ones for extended period of time. I must admit I have not tried hard enough last year. Despite the many phone calls to my Mum, Dad and Sis - I was rather out of touch with my Grandma, cousins and aunts/uncles.

Even with my own family who I called back to so much, I felt like they changed and it kinda breaks my heart knowing I felt so. It scares me to think of how the others have changed as well.

This new year also sees a lot of friends and neighbours moving further away due to job demands, etc. A lot of us live really close to each other as we used to study in the same uni. We saw each other graduate, settling into their first jobs, had our share of laughter and screams, BBQ-ed/hotpot-ed/cooked/hiked/road-trip-ed/movie-nighte-ed together. It makes me sad to know we willbe further apart but also happy to know they are moving on with life :-)

One important thing about 2009 is - seeing a happy begining with Mr Ray :-)

Our priorities/outlooks/ hopes/ situations in life have changed. But it was great to have grown through all of these with him. And the best thing is the thought of him still puts a smile on my face on those gloomy days when my confidence is down the drain or on days when I just have nothing better to do. 2008 was quite an interesting year, here is to a terrific 2009 :-)

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Those were not resolutions :-)

More like, revelation of what I feel this 2009. The beginings I look forward to.