Energy in me

Energy in me

Hm despite all the hype jus now at dinner, suddenly I am feeling all drained of energy. It is weird as I have now such mixed emotions. Relieved - for passing up most of my reports. Peaceful - for finally being able to stop and breath. Empty - for unknown reasons. Lost - in what to do.

Maybe it is because of the intense report marathon which finally reached its half-time today. Handing in 4 items a day is really quite a fulfilling achievement. Then you feel a bit proud of yourself. And you allow yourself some time of R&R. And you laugh, eat and just throw ur mind off everything in that marathon. Then, it ends and you are back at the starting line. Prompting yourself ready to race again.

Somehow, something which seemed to have no end to it, is really almost ending for good. Graduation, the destination is so near now. And you grin while wondering, what now?

Truth be told, studying is one of the major part in most of our lives. Subconsciously, a lot of us had been doing this all my life. And in a sense, it gave us direction in life. Now that, we reached the end of the road, suddenly the amount of crossroads overwhelmed us. No milestones given, but landmarks to create. No signboards prepared, but our own map to draw. No traffic lights to direct, but to be our own traffic officer. No roads to follow, but our own journey to record.

Suddenly being thrust into a space so vast, we tend to become lost.
Fear and insecurities easily drain us of our energy. Exactly how i am now, zombie-fied.
Tired from all the workloads and pressure.
Longing to escape to somewhere. Anywhere.

But, what will I harness out of life that way? By feeling tired all the time.

It is not hard to perk yourself up, motivate yourself and see life in a better perspective! Afterall, there won't be sunshine in your life if u chose keep the blinds closed.
Smile at yourself in the mirror. Do a bit of monologue. chant 'Yatta!'. Just smile. Smile. Smile.

Regain the energy and strength within u. Channel the energy towards looking for the 'fun' in everything you do. Be it, assignments, room tidying, or just anything. I really think that smiling by urself, helps a lot! In fact I am feeling so much better now.

And I am starting to see the fun in analysing the effect of salinity on protein concentration in tobacco plants! And what does proline actually do? And organogenesis, is really kinda miraculous.