Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Bikini reflections

"Ultimate summer bikini body guide"

"Get ready for summer in 30 days!"

"Top to toe beach body training guide"

You see this everywhere - magazine covers, internet news sites, gossip magazines, advertisements. Generic. But does it work on you? Boy, it certainly does. . well, at least on me. Which I don't think is really a surprise to anyone.
Whenever I see something like that, for some reasons, I'll just click on it.
But it is not like I don't know what the contents will be like nor would I be waiting oh-so-eagerly for the page to load. Actually, I could pretty much visualize what would be in there. So why the falling-for-the-trap-over-and-over-again?

Well, isn't it obvious? Cos I still haven't achieved the so-called bikini body they showed on the same page!
So today, while eating my cereal (an everyday ritual), I stumbled upon and 'accidentally' clicked on to this:
Ultimate summer tum guide ( - proper referencing!).
Ultimate = the best, greatest, or most extreme of its kind (
Summer = the beach, the less clothing, the bikini, the body! (
Tum = the tummy, the abs, the slab of persisting fat (author's personal judgement)
Guide = giving information, instructions, or advice; handbook (

And then there was this picture there!

(which was explicitly named 'flatter_stomach' if you try to save it, by the way)

How to not read on!? I was totally geared up by then.
This guide was however, just like any other of the previous guides I have read. The same advices, albeit some paraphrasing. So despite all these continuous injection of ideas, encouragement and motivation, why the failure to succeed?

Well.. . . . .Cos, a guide is just a guide after all. Not your Fairy Godmother. They can't transform a pumpkin (me) into an pear (Lowena). Wait, I have a sense of regret over that statement now. They can't transform Giselle Bund-Chin into Giselle Bundchen (inside joke, laugh out loud to show you understand :->). After all they are just a stack of words printed on papers with colours and pictures, something comparable to your lecture notes. You read your lecture notes (hopefully) but do you actually remember and follow what is said? *wink*

Some insights from this guide I found and my personal note on it:

'Contrary to popular belief, sit-ups and abdominal work-outs are not the answer'

- This was new four years ago during my first CLEO magazine reading session in college. Although I perfectly know this, there is still the mindset of 'do more crunches la' whenever I feel the slab (Slab as in slab of meat, which is certainly beyond flab).

'Cardio: Ideally three cardio work-outs a week for 40 minutes each is the way to go.'

- Again, a perfectly familiar statement. I could memorize it like the Rukun Negara. And, in a serious tone ok, I definitely attain higher than that back when I was a regular gym visitor, making it around 2 weeks ago. In fact, Jie Jie here did an hour of cardio for an average of 4 days a week. But the down side is: the intensity. The monotonous and stationary-feel given by most cardio machines makes you wanna get over and done with the minute you step onto it. While exercise is supposed to promote the release of feel-good hormones, these hormones are usually unsustainable making me cranky and reluctant. Hence the lowering of the intensity as my determination supports me to reach my 1 hour target! So this is my problem!

'Basic crunch: Lie flat on your back, knees bent and feet flat on the ground. Put your hands behind your head for support only, not to take any weight. Using your stomach muscles only, rise a few inches off the ground, hold for three seconds and return to your starting position. Do three sets of 15.'

- This is widespread. But for some reasons I can never do it rite. And since it is everywhere, really, I tend to skip this part always. But today, or the purpose of this informative article, I decided to read through it carefully. What have I been doing wrong? (1)Hand for support only - I exert force using hands causing back and neck pain! (2) Rise few inches - I always think 'rise the higher the better'! (3) Hold 3 seconds - 'Wah, damn pain, faster go back down!' Sometimes we tend to lose sight on the important details of things that are considered too common.

'Stand up straight: be conscious of your posture and pull your stomach in, it'll force your middle muscles to work 24/7.'

- Perfectly aware out of 21 years of constant nagging and whacking by Bund-Chin. Currently practicing it whenever I remember. This piece of information really boosted me stand straight in Form 3 when I saw some scribble on the blackboard in the Science Lab from the previous class. And reinforced when I watched the movie 'La Brassiere' (Chuet Sei Hou Bra). But slumping is just so, tempting. A sinful indugence? It is almost like KitKat - 'Take a break, Eat a KitKat'. .

'Eat early: the later you eat dinner, the harder it is for your body to digest so the food just sits around your stomach.'

- The saying goes, 'Eat like a king for breakfast, eat like a commoner for lunch and eat like a poor man for dinner'. This is easy if you are staying alone or is the chef for the house. But certain interference can appear: (1) Supper machines - Dad, Lowena, Mum. (2) Dessert-impulsive behavior - General Tan's "I share with you la". (3) Value-first - WenJi, Mum, and most aunties, "Order big more worth it ma". (4) Plate-cleaners - General Tan, "Must not waste food".


Those are just some of the main parts in the guide - for those who really are in the quest for a BIKINI BODY for summer, just like me since 4 years ago - go and take a look! You probably could guess the contents and can sit for an exam based on it rite here rite now and still score a HD.

But guides are just guides! To make the guides work, you gotta work it, sisters!

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