Saturday, August 1, 2009


I have always grown up with a huge group of people. People who laugh, cry, fight, celebrate and grieve with me - people who make me feel genuinely cared for.

Since young, I have been spending time with both my paternal and maternal grandparents, thus all my aunts, uncles and cousins. After school in the afternoon would see me tricking my maternal grandma with the most outrageous lies before skipping over to my neighbour's house to all sorts of games in groups of 7 or more. I climbed trees, scrapped knees, damaged bicycles, watched rabbits give birth and made my sister cry.

In the evening, my Mum would fetch us back to our paternal grandparents' house, where we used to live. My grandma would usually still be deep-frying something in the wok while my grandpa would be scolding the dogs. My sister and I would then play with our cousins before dinner with all of the family. Chasing the dogs, being chased by the dogs, catching grasshoppers, riding the bicycle.

Sundays would see us hanging out about town with my YiMa and Mum's friends, before a trip to the local fast food Sugarbun.

High school was more fun.

Upon entering the class, there would be sleeping classmates to scare, gossipy classmates to join and close classmates to just pass time with. After school was even more fun. Tuition classes were always filled with pranks, gossips, junk food, 'did you know!!' discussions and heart to heart talks. After tuitions are more fun. Telephone porridge, teasing my sister, teasing my mum together and the supper trips with YiMa and Uncle Philip whenever Dad was home.

But rather than fun, you know what make those days so precious?
It is knowing you have people who are willing to stand up for you, who you can rely on, who you can sincerely build a relationship with.
There were no doubts back then. Whenever I get treated badly, they would have defended or comforted me even before I knew of the attack. Whenever they get treated badly, I would stand by them and stick up for them.

I remember calling Choo up 4 a.m. in the morning to vent my frustration out to the poor guy after an-hour long conversation with a guy who said things I could never believe in about him. There was no need for a manual, no need for a textbook to tell me what to do. It
Then there was the buffet incident where 4 of us made a pact to conceal our secret trip of gluttony through a series of coded conversation.

I recall the times we spent looking out for each other whenever trouble hits one of us. Teachers weren't really our match, eh?
I remember the times I felt intense anger when people talked bad about my sister or treated her badly.
Come to think of it, hard as it may be to admit, one of my most loyal comrade will have to be my sister.

We have fought, cried, laughed harder than we have with anyone else.

We understand each other in a way where a simple lift of an eyebrow can convey more than anyone can comprehend.

We support each other in a way unique to each other.

All those times we fought for nothing. Once ending in me pinching her cheeks so hard it bled and another time with both of us falling asleep on the same bed in anger.

All those times we laughed for no reasons. Once because we made our mum scold us while her artificial teeth were not worn and another time because of a joke made by Ah Ya on TVBS which was apparently so unfunny.
All those times we cried for all reasons. Once because we had a screaming match about Tunas Puteri vs. Bulan Sabit Merah and another time because of the departure of our beloved Uncle Philip.

I long for those days when people are genuine and willing to stand up for friends in the name of 'nakama'.

However, the days of 'nakama' will be forever. These people I hold close to my heart and call me naive, call me an otaku - I believe in the spirit of 'nakama' and I shall live holding on to that.

4 Hikari*fications!:

Mizmanda said...

This post of yours really moved me. By reading about your past and your ties with your family reminds me of mine. Man, what a time for you to blog about posts as such when I am dipping in and out of the homesickness phase... *bawls*.

=) there were no doubts back then, and there are no doubts now. Where ever we would be in the future - there would be no doubt. Doesnt it make you feel so proud to have come from such a family? Hee.

more moving posts, please! =D

hikari* said...

Now you are encouraging my homesickness.

But it is true - doubts start in yourself. Others can only ease them or worsen them. So in the end, it comes down to yourself.

HAving said that, it would still be a lot nicer to have constant positive energy around you.

Times like this, us being away from our family and walking a path on our own,we should always remember to stick together.


Mizmanda said...

Agreed definitely.

But sometimes its not easy as everyone has different expectations. And some people exceed them - we feel loved & happy. But some people fall short - where we feel dissatisfied and dissapointed.

But I guess its a matter of how we, ourselves CHOOSE view things and how much effort we put into it. True? Hehehe.

Three cheers for a moving post. Kudos!

hikari* said...

True, agreed.

I stand by the point: Just be who you are.

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