Grandma says the cutest things

My grandma came from Sandakan and are staying with me for now. Oh, did I forget to mention my mum, my sis, my auntie and her little daughter are here as well? Nah, it is not really that noisy at home. Nah, they dun really talk that much. Nah, they are real CUTE when i am doing my assignment. *sniffs*

While u might expect the younger ones to be cuter, well in my sis's case, it is definitely not possible and u know it. In my little cousin's case, it really is not as well.

For one, the two of them started suffocating my NEW exercise ball the first nite upon arrival. So, now my exercise ball is not an overnight exercise donut. Then there are those innocent giggles that quickly transformed into witch-y cackles which are copyrighted solely to my sis. And then the toothless grin of my little cousin that somehow reminds me of a certain little voice inside my memory saying, "Arabidopsis" in a slang I can demonstrate to u anytime.

Well, these are both poor souls who have lost their cuteness at the young age of 17 and 7, respectively. (I tend to use the word 'respectively' a lot, after a series of report writing) This came as a new knowledge to me, who thought that with myself as an example, cuteness is preserved for life.

My grandma is another case though!
And these mini stories contain dialogues of direct translation from cantonese, for full effect.

During a buffet dinner, I noticed a purple coloured jelly on top of her PILE (and literally, PILE!) or fired rice. Strange combination, but I must respect my grandma's personal taste so I refrained from asking. But, little Lowena just loves asking everything. So she asked of it. Then my Grandma said, "No la, these are pei dan (century eggs)." Lowena countered,"Hohoho, they are jellies ah po. You eat eat and see." We all waited with drumrolls of heartbeat. Final verdict from Grandma," Ya oh, really sour goh...." So she had three Raspberry hellies with chinese fried rice. Fusion.

Then one fine night, my room was filled with cackles of evil laughter from some bullying stunts on the littlest one of the family by the elephant-est one in the family. Then my Grandma said kindly, "Choo choo, go back into ur room and sleep. Kah sis needs to do her work!" So my cousin obediently went to her room (after some struggling and threatening and chasing), leaving her pile of blanket on my bed. The elephant one continued to dwell like a corpse on my bed. Then my Grandma came to my door and asked, "Choo Choo eh?" We refuted with innocent eyes, "She is still here la. Ui ui, go back to ur room and sleep! PoPo calling u!" All the time, motioning and talking to the pile of blanket. My grandma frowned, focused her glasses, looked up and down. We tot the trick was exposed and went back to do our own stuff. After wat seem like detailed scrutinizing for 2 minutes, my Grandma said, "I am locking the door la, if u dun come out!" While we were paralyzed in laughter, this was heard from the next room, "Eh, why are u here! How did u run here!"

And this is the ultimate one. Everyone was miding their own business in the quiet tiny lot we rented in Bukit Tinggi. Then my Grandma asked, "Kah, Zhi Chong (buasir, haemorrhoid) Street got a lot of things sell ah?" I perked my ears and asked, "Zhi Chong?" Grandma said with a twinkle in her eye, "Ya oh, Zhi Chong Street oh." "U mean Chee Cheong Street (Petaling Street) is it?" Grandma chuckled, "Oh yaya! That one!" But it was too late, the conversation had already reached the broadcast station called Lowena (FM 888.88). How do we know? U just cannot miss the AMPLIFIED laughter of hers.

Then there was this atmospheric dimly lit japanese restaurant we entered. Grandma said, "Aiyo, no electricity ah!", before walking wrongly into its kitchen area an hour later.

My Grandma brings joy to my life.
I wonder what would happen if she can read this.

** For the various references of people (e.g. elephant one) that might be confusing, check the colour coding.