My mind is buzzing

These days of jobhunting has seen me being the most bored. Not in a depressed sense, but at least physically and mentally. This, in turn, led me to realise that the mind is actually very active.

Despite sitting on the same spot, doing nothing and having nothing to do - a million thoughts still cross my mind. Like the Brownian motion of an atom.

Here I present you with a snippet of what goes through my mind as my Windows Media Player shuffles different songs. Like a live broadcast of my thoughts, here goes. . . (click on the song titles to listen)

The first song is surprisingly Suteki Da Ne. I still remember the first time I heard this song was when I bought the set of VCDs summarising the whole Final Fantasy X game. I knew of this song back when I have yet to meet Ray but listened to it most when I was on LDR with him. The chorus goes, "Isn't it wonderful, if we can hold hands and walk together, I want to go to your town, your house, no into you arms". Something like that la.

Which reminds me of the time I brought my Playstation 2 home. I still remember my Sister's need of the toilet completely vanished suddenly and miraculously as soon as we bought the console. I remember how disappointed we were when we heard Yuna's voice in English and how my Sister got killed off by a random Wendigo. Hohoho. A RANDOM WENDIGO.

Itsuka means 'Someday'. Someday. Have any of you ever thought of what you want to see yourself as someday? Is this someday of yours in a definite timeframe or is it just an unattainable dream? Until then, until your very own 'Someday', perhaps now is the time to work harder and dream a little more. Things important to be kept up during this stage of life: energy, motivation, faith.

Water from Final Fantasy VII AC is such a serene yet haunting piece. I feel like I am moving forward in my own pace and there is only me alone going against a soft current.

Dearly Beloved. The thought of being here while my family and close friends are back in Malaysia is somewhat - bitter. There are so many events I have to no choice but miss out on. And that very piece of memory, would see me absent when I could have not only be present but made a difference.

Denki Iruka Kimyou na Shikou. Electric Dolphin Strange Taste. "Sunday wake up drive me to beach. . . I'm singing in the rain, it's my way. . .I believe in the meaning of singing" Never fails to put a smile on my face. I really would like to escape to the beach now. To just lie down on the sand with my Haruki Murakami, some noisy friends and a peaceful mind. But it has been too cold lately. Anyway, just imagining it makes me happy enough. Where to go for Easter!!

Te o Tsunagou (Ayaka) which means "Let's hold hands". We are such small beings in this world. While we are surviving this so called economic crisis, I wonder if the Earth cares. After all, we have not been taking care of our own home, the Earth, well not have we been nice to our own friends, the animals and plants. There is so much we can do, if only everyone can stand united and join forces.

Communication is so hard and complicated. Maybe that is why it is so important. If you can find someone whom you can communicate with while being totally yourself and at the same time, achieve understanding and build mutual respect - consider yourself lucky and treasure this bond. Holding hands - I have always thought of it as something over-rated in relationships but the truth is, it's so special.

Kekkonsiki (The Wedding Ceremony - FF10). A lot of my friends are getting married this year! I wonder why. Is everyone going for the 9th of September 2009 - (the triple 9 meaning 'long long nine nine' in Chinese). Heck, even I almost got engaged on April's Fool! I really wanna be a bridesmaid :-(

Sunadokei (Hourglass - 1 Litre of Tears OST). Time is passing by. I want to make full use of my time. I might still be lost right now, but I guess it is alright as long as I do not lose my focus and can still be peaceful with myself. Maybe I should spend this period of time working towards an 'hourglass' body figure instead ;-) Time is passing by but nothing is ever too late.

Passion by Utada Hikaru. I always have this kind of question,"If I. . . ,will I be able to. . . ?" And if this goes on without action it will eventually end up being either "If only. . . " or "What if. . ." scenarios. And both scenarios are always countered with an "I told you so" from others. Something I believe a lot of people dread hearing.

Most times, I don't need anyone to tell me so. I have the answer. I just need the encouragement or convincing or courage to believe in what I have in me.

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It has been less than 30 minutes of me typing out whatever crossed my mind. My mind is still active . . and still fascinating to me.